Her alcohol use skyrocketed after high school. She began drinking during the day in college and when she eventually entered the catering and event planning business – where she worked for about seven years - she found herself surrounded by more opportunities to drink. “It was always parties and socialization; it was a great career, but it was taking a toll on me and catching up to me. I was aware and everyone was aware I had a problem.”

She then tried working in real estate for seven years, which kept her busy and her mind occupied, and she was able to remain sober through this time on her own, without medical help and without a program. But she does not recommend trying this approach as it is dangerous. According to the Agape Treatment Center website, “…stopping alcohol abuse suddenly can lead to hallucinations, seizures, and even heart failure that may result in death.” Alayna did not completely feel herself for about three months, but during her whole self-detox period, she still worked though she “became a hermit and went home after work just to avoid it and just to get better.” She read a lot of books to learn about addiction and stayed away from situations where she would be tempted to drink again.

After eight years of sobriety, she picked up her first drink in March 2012 after dealing with bankruptcy due to the real estate and economy crash. “It was so overwhelming,” she said of this time. “I picked up a drink and I thought: ‘well, I’m just going to have one or two when I go out’…I was always a shy person, so I always had to have a drink in my hand. It was my security blanket.”

When she began working in the casino business in 2016, it all went downhill from there. “I was back in the hospitality industry and the alcohol was creeping up on me and so was the disease,” she reminisced. “I was drinking daily again because I worked hard and I played hard.” Alcohol was easily available and more acceptable in this type of environment, making it very difficult for Alayna. As she thought about this time, she now understood she was a bit in denial. She had a job, she had a car, and she had a place to live so she did not realize she was in as deep as she actually was. This tends to be the case for most people who are addicted to substances; they are in denial, especially if they are able to function in society. “It’s a snowball effect though. You aren’t fully aware of what’s happening because you feel like you have it all under control, but you don’t. The disease of addiction just lies to you all the time.”

When Coronavirus first made an impact in the United States in March 2020, Alayna finally realized she had a terrible problem. “I needed to stop and I needed to slow down but I couldn’t,” she said. Looking back to when she trudged through job loss, the cancellation of in-person meetings, lockdowns, and the general uncertainty of COVID19, she realized now that this time was a bit of a blessing. “It was a really good time for me to get better and to get help, finally. This was my time. I had no excuses anymore. I still had my health insurance, and I was furloughed so I had nothing else going on and I decided to go to a treatment facility.”

Alayna used this long and isolating period to get herself together. She eventually sought help from a therapist and suggests others who struggle with addiction find one who specializes in substance abuse disorder. She also began regularly attending Alcohol Anonymous meetings where she found herself surrounded by people just like her, which came as an enormous relief since she suffered with the worry of feeling alone and shamed. She found a sponsor and started working the 12 Steps. “There’s nothing to be fearful about,” she said with a smile. “Working the steps and getting help is so important. I’ve learned that acceptance is the answer. Once I could accept my powerlessness over alcohol and live life on life's terms, the day-to-day stuff, whatever life throws at me that I can't anticipate, and the unexpected speed bumps in life, no matter how intimidating they may be, I realized I'm not running and hiding or curling up in a ball and isolating with a drink anymore. I'm learning to deal with and live life as a sober adult."

She eventually found a place at Sister House, one of Rage Against Addiction’s two women’s sober living houses. Launched under the successful Daughter’s House program, both houses are an encouraging and positive transition from substance abuse to recovery, and provides an essential role in helping women achieve, maintain, and enhance happier and healthier lifestyles. As House Manager, she prides herself on bonding with the other residents. “Everybody lifts everybody up,” she declared. “It’s a very supportive environment. We don’t judge here. We are very accepting.” Alayna notes that being in the company of others who struggled or who are currently struggling helps hold her and others accountable for staying on a confident path.

She is now ready to move forward with the next chapter in her life. She is highly focused on getting back into the work force, though she plans to stay away from the hospitality industry because “it can be very toxic and triggering.” She is going to take the next step on her recovery journey and take time to find out what works for her, and find new meaning and purpose in life where she will remain sober. "Life goes on and I feel like my Higher Power will put the right people in my life and that I will find a good spot in society.”

When asked what individuals may feel as they are struggling with addiction, she paused for a moment to consider her words. “They are afraid of what people might think. They are afraid of the shame. They also feel in control but they’re really not.” After another pause, she added, “but there’s nothing to be fearful about. Living a happy and healthy lifestyle should be celebrated."